Adding to the family....

No...I'm not expecting!!! I wish!!

But I have had baby on the mind recently.

Seeing my little guy growing up makes me really miss the baby stage. It's funny though because I'm really enjoying this new toddler stage.

Can't I have both??

Why yes I can!

But unfortunately now is not the time.....boo hoo...

After Evan was born, I went through a horrible time of postpartum OCD. I swore that I would never have another child. I never wanted to go through this awful time again. But of course, as all things usually do, it passed and within a few weeks, I was feeling much much better.

Then as the months passed and Evan was growing and growing, Ben and I discussed how many children we really wanted to have. We laughed at how we spoke of our future children when we were dating and of how many we wanted. I probably wanted like six or seven kids (Ben's was significantly less...). But after Evan was born we were talking about having just two and I was fine with that number because of two reasons.

1. I didn't want Evan to be an only child. I loved my childhood with my siblings and I wanted Evan to experience that fun and love.

and 2. Because of the many many complications I had when carrying Evan, I was very nervous about the idea of expecting again. However, I wanted to do it because of #1.

However, over the past few days I've been really giving this growing a family idea some serious thought.

I'm now thinking that I may like to have four children. Four? Are you crazy? Maybe.

I decided that I wasn't going to fill Ben in on my idea anytime soon given his reaction when I told him I wanted another baby a few weeks ago...and I was only joking.

Although today I spilled the beans.

His response?

NO.

He doesn't want four kids. Maybe three but definitely not four.

I was bummed to say the least.

Actually Ben would be satisfied if we only had one child. He's told me that numerous times. But of course that's not what I want. And he agrees with the sibling situation.

I was able to get a maybe out of him for three.

I'll work on him for the fourth. We really need it to be even...you know, for when you go to Disneyland and ride on the rides...everyone needs someone to sit with!