i have a little secret...

I've been hesitating posting about this simply because if I do, then I'll be held accountable. Sure, I'll be cheered on but I guess I'm scared to put it out there and then fail.

I joined Weight Watchers last Monday. Evan and I went to the Mom & Me meeting and I actually ran into an acquaintance of mine who also had her little one. We chatted for a bit and talked about our kiddos. It was nice to see her again. When I weighed in, I was actually surprised at the number. I was positive it would have been higher than it was but I was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't 'happy' with the number, just surprised it was lower than I was expecting.

My first week went great! I stayed on plan for the most part and even ate out twice over the weekend. I was excited to attend the meeting yesterday morning because I just knew I had lost. Plus I was looking forward to seeing my friend and her little one again.

The meeting started at 9:30 and of course I was late getting out the door. I've really got to get better at managing my time, I'm horrible. Evan was basically in a good mood while I got dressed but as soon as we were about to walk out the door, man. He through the biggest fit. He was asking for a 'boop' (book) that was in his room but I just didn't have the time to grab it for him, it was almost 9:20. He screamed and wouldn't straighten his legs to walk. He would just crumbled them and fall to the floor. Needless to say, I was beginning to get very frustrated (I tried to remember my last post and didn't get too upset). I ended up having to carry him to the car, screaming the entire way (I felt sorry for my neighbors). He cried in the car but finally settled down when I gave him his snack cup. When we got in the parking lot, I took out the stroller and then unbuckled Evan from his car seat. I then started to put him in the stroller and he again had a melt down. He was refusing to get in the stroller. He wouldn't bend his legs so I could fit them in the seat and it was angering me. For a split second I considered turning it all around and heading home. I wasn't going to go into a meeting with a screaming child but I was determined to go. If anything, I'd at least go through the weigh in and skip the meeting. Finally, I gave him a couple of his books, his sippy cup and his snack cup and all was good in Evan world. Phew!

I entered the meeting and went up to the scale. I took off my shoes, sweatshirt and my glasses (why did I take my glasses off? Like it made a difference! ha!) I stepped on the scale and the new number popped up. I had lost 3.2 lbs! Woo Hoo! I was so happy! I put my shoes, sweatshirt (and glasses!) back on and went into the meeting. Evan behaved the whole time, granted I brought some ammo, but he did awesome! He especially loved it when the group would clap for the successes of others and he would join in! It was really cute! The meeting leader even commented on it! haha!

Later that day, I headed to my normal step aerobics class at 5:30 and about 30 or so minutes into my workout, I fizzled out completely. I had absolutely zero energy. I was trying to fight it so bad because I wanted to complete my workout but finally I had to leave. All I kept thinking about was chocolate. I needed chocolate. I was getting all shaky and I really felt ravenous. I hate when I get like that. I was really frustrated and confused too because I had a snack before I left the house so I was sure that I had prepared my body with enough energy.

My original plan was to stop at the grocery store on the way home to pick up something to make for dinner but at that point it was the last thing I felt like doing. I opted to stop at California Pizza Kitchen and ordered myself a salad and hubby a pizza. Now, I'm not going to lie by omission. I did something else. Remember that chocolate craving I had? Well, I stopped through Target and got...gasp...a Hershey's chocolate bar AND a bag of peanut M&M's.

Ouch.

But honestly, I didn't really care at the moment because I just needed to get something, anything, into my system to stop that shakiness.

I.ate.the.entire.bag.of.M&M's.


(and half of the Hershey's bar)

When I got home, I was too full for my salad. My tummy was full of yummy delicious chocolate. I still didn't feel too bad but wished that my body hadn't done that. I was doing so well and I was completely on track. However, I didn't give up (like I normally do). Today I just kept truckin' along.

Yay me!

So today was a success. I stayed on plan (well I did find one peanut M&M in my purse...and ate it.) But that's allowed right?

So, that's my secret. I'm on WW and am bound and determined to stay on track! I've given up way too many times and this time I owe it to myself to keep going. I even made WW meat loaf for dinner tonight and it was oh.so.good. And at only 4 pts. per serving it tasted even better!

How about you? Are any of you on WW? If so, do you have any secrets or tips to give? I'll take anything! (except chocolate) (well, maybe some chocolate).