I'm out of control!

So I really need some help.

In 2002 I was about 60 or so pounds over weight and finally decided to do something about it. I successfully lost a total of 40 pounds over the course of 3 or 4 years. I was actually one of the many few who lost weight after getting married! In fact my wedding gown was too big!! Wow!

I had my weekly workout schedule down pat and rarely, if ever, wavered from it. I found that if I did something I actually enjoyed I was more likely to stick with it. So I found step aerobics.

I loved it (and still do) because of it's motivating music, enthusiastic instructors and basically fun environment. I attended the Step 2 (advanced Step) on Monday evenings at 5:35, so fun! On Tuesdays I attended a Step and Sculpt class at 7:45pm until it was canceled and then moved to the 5:35 Cardio Sculpt class. I chose Wednesdays to be my 'off' day but on occasion I attended the 6:40pm Cardio Sculpt class. On Thursdays I went to the 6:40 Cardio Sculpt class and always took Fridays off. Saturday mornings I went to the 9:30am Step class and took Sundays completely off. I loved this schedule and actually looked forward to my time there. I always felt so energized and healthy after leaving the gym and heading home. I loved it.

To aid in my weight loss I cut most fast food out of my diet and switched from regular soda to diet which is were I believe most of my weight came off. I drank A LOT of soda. But I still allowed myself those delicious and often times, forbidden desserts but I didn't go over board. I was at a happy medium with my eating habits.

So what's the problem? Well, now that I'm a stay-at-home mom during the day, my schedule is completely off track as well as my eating habits. I still try to make it to the gym on most days but often times I either have to work or by the time my hubby gets home, all I want to do is be at home with him.

Over the past couple weeks, I've really been struggling. I feel like I've lost my 'mind set' of exercise and healthful eating. For example, I only made it to the gym on Monday night this week. I had Tuesday and Wednesday off from work, so there really was no reason for me not to work out. Instead I stayed home and ate. And with Easter coming tomorrow, I've been preparing for it by baking cookies and buying candy. I AM OUT OF CONTROL! This is what I've eaten just today, I won't even go there with what went into my mouth the other days...

Breakfast
None, well except for some Hershey Kisses and Peanut M&M's, I don't think that counts.

Lunch
Togo's turkey and cheese sandwich with Baked Lays potato chips and diet soda.

Snack
A handful or more of Reduced Fat Triscuits
Starbucks tall non-fat decaf vanilla latte on my way to work
Small non-fat frozen yogurt with fresh strawberries on my break at work

Dinner
Taco Bell Burrito Supreme and Taco supreme, diet soda

After dinner
A much unneeded bowl of chocolate and peanut butter ice cream and a handful of peanut M&M's

Isn't that awful? I feel so disgusting right now! What is wrong with me? I know what I need to do but somehow I can't bring myself to do it. I feel so helpless and out of control (haven't I already mentioned that???).

Please, I need some advice. What are ways I can get myself back into my exercise routine and healthful eating habits? Now that I'm at home all day, I need new ways to set myself up to be successful. I no longer have my structured daily routine of work, gym and then home Monday - Friday. Obviously that won't work for me now. I need a new structured routine that revolves around my home life and my child.

Please, please...I really need some help!!!

I fear going back to my old body....that frightens me!!!